It’s not about us. It’s about you. It’s about how you paid a fortune for a burger that didn’t even taste half as good as a Big Mac but had been told it was going to be worthwhile according to some biased website who rates just about EVERYTHING as good and NOTHING as bad.
It’s about how you experienced heartbreak on the first bite instead of the promised words of “cooked to perfection”, “best ever”, or “orgasmic and succulent” as assured by some pretentious “foodie” whose only real purpose is to compliment every dish to death.
It’s about you being tired of it all and coming to us for what may be the only shred of truth left on the internet. Not because it comes from a food critic, professional chef, or culinary expert, but because it comes from a deliriously bothered entrepreneur, firm supporter of illegal firearms, and a stereotyped pervert who’s really just a misunderstood romanticist.
I mean, that’s what most people are like anyway. So we can relate. We understand. Welcome to Food Heist.